And now I can’t wait for the next one… This is going even better then I thought it would. But it does seem like there will not be any little event happening.
Yeah…. Asking a woman that is normally a bad idea. They want you to *know* what they want; they don’t want to have to tell you outright.
But, sometimes it works out, just not often. I shall call asking a woman that “The Baxter Gambit” from now on.
Gentlemen, many women prefer a direct approach. Your comments seem to suggest that all women are unreasonable, irrational stereotypes who expect men to be mind-readers and fly off the handle when men appear to not “understand them”. While these stereotypes do exist (and are often portrayed on TV), most of us are educated, reasonable, rational beings who would not balk at such a question.
Wow, Bax. What have you experienced that has made you so paranoid of pretty women? I hope this helps you get over it, because you’re really hurting yourself here. Di may be many things, some of them unpleasant, but she is NOT subtle. I mean, seriously? Mind games? If she wanted to hurt you, she’d punch you in the face.
I think Karen missed the “normally” and “sometimes it works out” in my comment. Anywho, certainly many woman respond well to the direct approach, but NOT responding well doesn’t mean such woman are “unreasonable” or “irrational,” as Karen seems to be implying. Personally, I feel that responding poorly to such a question is more reasonable than not. Asking that question(especially on a first date) is akin to saying “How can I (change myself)/(act) to get you to respond better to me?” It’s not really something you should be asking because it does not lend itself to true compatibility with the person. A willingness to please is important in a relationship, no doubt, but asking directly for that answer is not, in my opinion, the way to go about a lasting relationship. Something must be said for two people “clicking” on more of an initiative level. Asking for the intellectual answer to a “question of the heart” shows a lack of understanding of it.
However, it could also be interpreted that Baxter is willing to make some changes/sacrifices for himself in order to advance the relationship, which Di might very well respond positively to. As I said in my last comment, I find this very possible, but less likely, based on my own personal experience with women. I, however, would not claim to be an expert in such matters.
Karen, my reply insinuated simply that I think all women prefer Louis Armstrong. Everyone knows this; it’s the one thing we men DO understand about women, and that’s because we can sympathize.
Wow. Worst thing you can say to a woman is ask what they want of you. Act they way you want to act. Woman hate nothing like they hate a man who asks them to take the wheel and steer.
As a woman, he’s in the right to ask here. She is playing way too loose — and he doesn’t want to come across as “creepy coworker who hits on girl.”
Nevertheless, he’s WAY not in the mindset to accept any answer she’s likely to give. Bax doesn’t know what he’s asking — 1) “Is there any way this leads to us having sex?” and 2) “Is it okay if I act like I’m interested in you, or would that be way outside the bounds of what you want right now?”
The words he’s using are likely to elicit a “I don’t know”, vaguely positive response. And that’s all that he SHOULD be expecting — or wanting. It is WAY too early to even ask for a “kinda maybe sorta” commitment.
Problem is, he’s in the mindset that she’s playing mindgames. He put a few honest cards down here, and now so will she. But I predict him getting upset — because she has been dancing confusingly.
Poor Bax. He’s not ready for her answer — whichever way it goes.
I think we interpret the statement differently, 5ColorControl. I assumed Bax was asking what her expectation was in terms of the relationship (are they coworkers, friends, lovers?), which is not an unreasonable question at this stage. In fact I think it is rather appropriate to make sure both parties are on the same page so as to avoid potential awkwardness at work. I also did not interpret the last panel as Bax offering to change himself to meet her needs, just more a direct question of her intent (crippled slightly by his low self esteem). Whereas you seem to interpret that he is willing to make drastic changes to be a person she wants (which I completely agree is a bad idea and would end terribly). In light of *my* interpretation, your first comment seemed to stereotype women, but after your second comment, it makes much more sense. I apologize if I made you feel as though I was attacking you… it was not my intent (really I meant it to read half-seriously, half-jokingly but that never comes across well in text).
Well, Bax, it’s been a long time since I’ve heard a really good Satchmo impression. Everyone who tries nowadays fails miserably.
Damn, Satchmo is easy.
For the first few minutes at least. After that, you may need a new throat.
And now I can’t wait for the next one… This is going even better then I thought it would. But it does seem like there will not be any little event happening.
Yeah…. Asking a woman that is normally a bad idea. They want you to *know* what they want; they don’t want to have to tell you outright.
But, sometimes it works out, just not often. I shall call asking a woman that “The Baxter Gambit” from now on.
Oh, Bax. If they wanted someone different from your normal self, they wouldn’t have bothered to ask you out in the first place.
Gentlemen, many women prefer a direct approach. Your comments seem to suggest that all women are unreasonable, irrational stereotypes who expect men to be mind-readers and fly off the handle when men appear to not “understand them”. While these stereotypes do exist (and are often portrayed on TV), most of us are educated, reasonable, rational beings who would not balk at such a question.
Wow, Bax. What have you experienced that has made you so paranoid of pretty women? I hope this helps you get over it, because you’re really hurting yourself here. Di may be many things, some of them unpleasant, but she is NOT subtle. I mean, seriously? Mind games? If she wanted to hurt you, she’d punch you in the face.
Can I second what karen said? Third it, even?
I think Karen missed the “normally” and “sometimes it works out” in my comment. Anywho, certainly many woman respond well to the direct approach, but NOT responding well doesn’t mean such woman are “unreasonable” or “irrational,” as Karen seems to be implying. Personally, I feel that responding poorly to such a question is more reasonable than not. Asking that question(especially on a first date) is akin to saying “How can I (change myself)/(act) to get you to respond better to me?” It’s not really something you should be asking because it does not lend itself to true compatibility with the person. A willingness to please is important in a relationship, no doubt, but asking directly for that answer is not, in my opinion, the way to go about a lasting relationship. Something must be said for two people “clicking” on more of an initiative level. Asking for the intellectual answer to a “question of the heart” shows a lack of understanding of it.
However, it could also be interpreted that Baxter is willing to make some changes/sacrifices for himself in order to advance the relationship, which Di might very well respond positively to. As I said in my last comment, I find this very possible, but less likely, based on my own personal experience with women. I, however, would not claim to be an expert in such matters.
Karen, my reply insinuated simply that I think all women prefer Louis Armstrong. Everyone knows this; it’s the one thing we men DO understand about women, and that’s because we can sympathize.
Wow. Worst thing you can say to a woman is ask what they want of you. Act they way you want to act. Woman hate nothing like they hate a man who asks them to take the wheel and steer.
Having made this mistake myself once or twice.
As a woman, he’s in the right to ask here. She is playing way too loose — and he doesn’t want to come across as “creepy coworker who hits on girl.”
Nevertheless, he’s WAY not in the mindset to accept any answer she’s likely to give. Bax doesn’t know what he’s asking — 1) “Is there any way this leads to us having sex?” and 2) “Is it okay if I act like I’m interested in you, or would that be way outside the bounds of what you want right now?”
The words he’s using are likely to elicit a “I don’t know”, vaguely positive response. And that’s all that he SHOULD be expecting — or wanting. It is WAY too early to even ask for a “kinda maybe sorta” commitment.
Problem is, he’s in the mindset that she’s playing mindgames. He put a few honest cards down here, and now so will she. But I predict him getting upset — because she has been dancing confusingly.
Poor Bax. He’s not ready for her answer — whichever way it goes.
I think we interpret the statement differently, 5ColorControl. I assumed Bax was asking what her expectation was in terms of the relationship (are they coworkers, friends, lovers?), which is not an unreasonable question at this stage. In fact I think it is rather appropriate to make sure both parties are on the same page so as to avoid potential awkwardness at work. I also did not interpret the last panel as Bax offering to change himself to meet her needs, just more a direct question of her intent (crippled slightly by his low self esteem). Whereas you seem to interpret that he is willing to make drastic changes to be a person she wants (which I completely agree is a bad idea and would end terribly). In light of *my* interpretation, your first comment seemed to stereotype women, but after your second comment, it makes much more sense. I apologize if I made you feel as though I was attacking you… it was not my intent (really I meant it to read half-seriously, half-jokingly but that never comes across well in text).
And *I* assumed that Bax was offering to show off his varied and impressive array of impersonations. 😛
I have a feeling he didn’t really mean to say that last sentence out loud. Baxter might be feeling insecure about his body swap with Marc.
Ahmm, well I admit women can be very complicated. I’m one of them.