Can you find the super-hero in this picture?

     No, NOT the Invisible Woman.

     Peter Porkchops was a well-liked comic-book star back when funny-animal comics were actually big, and talking dinosaurs roamed the Earth. He was a bit of a prankster, constantly putting one over on his "friend" "Wolfie," who was usually trying some more serious underhanded scheme on Peter. But Peter was also a LUCKY little pipsqueak, and when he didn't outsmart Wolfie's plans, they pretty much fell apart on their own.

     In the first story or two, Wolfie did actually want to EAT his co-star, not just cheat him. It was never explained why he made the transition from carnivore to simple conniver. But who says funny-animal comics have to have continuity?

     CAPTAIN CARROT's creative team, that's who.

     Twenty years later, Roy and Scott revived Peter, only to give him a complete overhaul. We got to see the "Peter Porchops" of old for precisely one panel (and a flashback, at that). Then a Superman-powered meteorite hit him on the head (!) and knocked him into a steel mill, and he became not only an iron-skinned hulking hog, but a swaggering, big-as-life GLORY-hog.

     Pig-Iron (well, what would YOU call him?) was the resolutely blue-collar member of the Zoo Crew, happy to get out there and bust some heads, and just as happy to stay at home, watch trash TV, and eat everything in the refrigerator including the light bulb. He could not have been more different from his alter ego, but he'd be the first to say the change was an improvement.

     And Wolfie?

     Now HERE'S continuity for you. Wolfie's seeking help because, apparently, those early "wolf tries to eat pig" stories WERE in-continuity, after all... and therefore he was (and still IS!) experiencing homicidal, near-CANNIBALISTIC, urges.

     Well, things get even wilder, thanks to the wonderful world of comic-book coincidence.

     Coincidence A: Wolfie, a plumber, gets called over to tighten the Zoo Crew's water pipes later THAT SAME DAY. And while Pig-Iron is overjoyed to see his old pal again, Wolfie's reaction is a bit more... disquieting.

     Coincidence B: Wolfie has picked himself out a good luck charm that was made with metal from THE VERY SAME MILL that gave Pig-Iron his powers. And apparently this charm is manufactured by "MacGuffins R Us," because Wolfie is barely out of the building before it transforms him into the most feared and hated of all monsters... a MAN. Or, rather, ALMOST a man... a something-in-between called a "Wuz-Wolf." And things actually get WORSE for Our Heroes from there:

    It's neatly implied in the scene below that Pig-Iron suffers from a slight split personality. This would explain a lot of the difference between him and the Peter Porkchops of old, for those who like their loose ends tied up.

    No such explanation was given, though, for Fastback, the super-speed snapping turtle, the tortoise tornado, the high-velocity hillbilly. Fastback was simultaneously the FASTEST superhero on the team... and the SLOWEST. Click here to continue.