TOP TEN BAD IDEAS FOR THE X-MEN SEQUEL

XI-Men! Can lightnin' strike twice?

Given that every Marvel Comics movie besides X-Men has sucked ugly rocks, we're all hopin' an' prayin' that X-Men is the beginnin' of a new trend an' not just a blip in Marvel's stock prices. I mean, surely Hollywood knows not to hire Joel Schumaker on this un, so what could go wrong?

Plenty.

10. Chris Claremont naked and painted blue.

9. Secret Wars II.

8. The entire team goes through a sequel to that scene where Xavier's voice is in Wolverine's head. Now everyone, including Xavier, can't stop hearing Stan Lee's voice describing them whenever they do anything. "Stop it! You're making me feel ridiculous!" sobs Cyclops.

7. Storm's accent goes berserk, mutating her into the new Banshee.

6. Toad becomes the Phoenix.

5. "Brood Resurrection."

4. Introducing Gambit as a whiny teenager.

3. Introducing Gambit as himself (thirty-year old thief with a heart of gold, even though he talks like a pimp), but for continuity's sake, trying to make that whole Rogue-Gambit relationship sizzle anyway.

2. Mutants speak out against affirmative action.

1. Wolverine's costume nipples.


FANS
Back to FANS