I know. It seems like a lost cause.
I mean, if some guy can read yer mind, he'll know how much ya really wanna see him blow his stack, an' he'll know better than ta give ya the satisfaction.
But that ain't no way ta think. Ya gotta remember, just cause somebody CAN read yer mind doesn't mean he's GONNA. If yer like me, ya got a lot of dark corners that most mind-readers aren't mature enough ta handle anyway. So try these methods an' think positive. But, ya know, not too loud.
10. Keep challenging him to a game of Tic-Tac-Toe.
9. Give him a "Star Trek Chess Set."
8. Mention the Pokémon concept of "evolution."
7. Pronounce "mutant" "moo-tant." If he corrects you, say "Sorry, Professor Ksaveier."
6. Call him "Charley," "Chuck," "Chaz," "C-Man," "Captain Picard," or "The Nutty Professor."
5. Get the "Barney" theme song stuck in your head. Soon it'll be stuck in his!
4. Do a lot of really tasteless things that cruel and evil people do to the handicapped, but that *I* am much too progressive ta mention here, like tyin' tin cans to his wheelchair, whistlin' "Gotta Dance," an' switchin' his tires with Firestones.
3. Vandalize the X-Mansion by spray-paintin', "PROFESSOR X AND TOAD-- 2-GETHER 4-EVER!"
2. Hide his Lucky Charms.
1. Think at him, " I admire the fact that I cannot annoy you. I admire the fact that I cannot annoy you. I admire the fact that I cannot annoy you. I admire the fact that I cannot annoy you. I admire the fact that I cannot annoy you. I admire the fact that I cannot annoy you." Repeat.
Bonus points to Wizard Magazine for thinkin' of this one...
Walk past him, then clutch your forehead and say, "AAARGH! GET OUT OF MY MIND! GET OUT OF MY MIIIIIND!"
 |