They're like, sooo serene for guys who make a living offa shoving hard light through your small intestines.
But every time ya pester 'em about things like that, they close their eyes and mumble some shit about "anger leadin' to anger" or whatever. Th'most irritatin' thing about 'em is how hard they are to irritate. But ya can get under their skin. Here's how:
10. Spray-paint "WEE-NIE" on Luke's trainin' blindfold.
9. Swap lightsaber with flashlight. For more fun, swap Mulder's flashlight with lightsaber. (Snicker as he accidentally fries important documents.)
8. E-mail mp3 files of Darth Vader's heavy breathin'.
7. Spike Qui-Gon's tea with bantha laxative. Do it on a day when he isn't wearin' a robe that's already brown.
6. Send Jar Jar an "I'm With Stupid" T-shirt. He can't read, so explain it means, "This is my dear friend."
5. Point out how racist it is to keep callin' it "The Dark Side."
4. Dress up in robes an' send Qui-Gon a hologram sayin' Yoda wants him to take his place at the Jedi High Council an' when Qui-Gon says, "Really?" say, "No, not really!" Laugh.
3. Give Luke's artificial hand an android personality. Model it after C-3PO's.
2. Haul out the pic of Carrie Fisher in the bikini-- c'mon, ya know ya have one somewhere-- walk over to Yoda, show it ta him, and say "Yo, 'Da, she says size does matter." Then drop your pants, break out the ruler, an' say, "Read 'em an' weep, felt-boy."
1. Start the Clone Wars by clonin' 85,000,000 Jar Jars.
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